“Sharing his vulnerability wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was a sign of strength.”
Every week in the UK, 2 to 3 babies lose their father to suicide.
David nearly became one of those statistics.
WHERE HE STARTED
David came to Future Men through our Future Dads antenatal programme. He was in his early thirties, about to become a father, and his relationship with his partner was breaking down. By December of that year, he had reached his lowest point.
He had never looked for help before. Men like David are told, in a thousand small ways, that needing help is something to be ashamed of. So they don’t ask. They manage. They hold it together until they can’t.
WHAT CHANGED
What David did next is what stayed with John, his Future Men worker: he turned up anyway.
Even when he didn’t want to. Even when everything felt impossible. He kept coming back to the sessions. He let himself be honest about what he was going through. He let someone sit with him in it.
“He didn’t see that sharing his vulnerability was a sign of weakness. He saw it was a sign of strength. He was open to receiving help, not burying his head in the sand.”
John Okusanya, Future Men Project Coordinator
THE OUTCOME
David got the mental health support he needed. His relationship with his child’s mother ended, but what grew in its place is something that matters just as much for his child: two parents who co-parent well. Consistently. Safely. With his daughter’s needs at the centre.
He is still in contact with Future Men. He is still showing up. His daughter has a father who is present, and who fought hard to stay that way.
WHY THIS MATTERS
The services that exist to support families were not built with men like David in mind. A father in mental health crisis, facing relationship breakdown, approaching fatherhood with no map and no safety net. The system has no good answer for him.
Future Men does. And when we get it right, a child grows up with their father alive and in their life. That is not a small thing. That is everything.
Names have been changed to protect identity.